I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
