i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
