This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
