So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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