Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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