your thong is hanging out like whoa
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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