Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
