The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
