I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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