He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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