I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
