Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just invented taco cereal.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
