Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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