im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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