If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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