He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
