when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
