I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
