Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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