No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
