you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize