We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
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I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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