he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
