i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
