sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
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All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
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He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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