So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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