So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
