i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
