You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
