"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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