I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
