if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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