I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
