maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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