i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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