mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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