Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
