i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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