never play flip cup with pint glasses
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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