Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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