I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
