It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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