I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
