Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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