I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
