We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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