She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
