we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
