He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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