last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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