Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
