We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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