Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
