Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
