Don't you send me to vm
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
