I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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