Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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