Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
