OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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