i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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