yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
