yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
